The Downside of Time
by JDI Jasper
Summary: Xolette takes some time to think about her current relationship with Hayner {For SquidbaggerOfWoomyAndNgyesness}


Little note before you read: I read a couple of your fics to make sure I was portraying Xolette right. I hope you like it!

The Downside of Time

Every time she looked at him, she got a little angrier. Not at him, but at life. Humanity. Mortality. She'd always known that everything that had been built up would eventually break down again, but it never really sank in until she had to witness it for herself. And it hurt.

She thought it unfair that she had to watch the man who had spent so many years by her side develop wrinkles and experience various aches and pains within his body simply due to age. She found it downright cruel that she would have to watch her children go through the same thing. Yes, these things were natural, but she would never know what that felt like.

With each passing day, her mind wandered further and further into the dark; thoughts of parting with any member of her family kept her up most nights. Any moment could be the last time she'd see her husband. _Any _moment.

"Xolette."

Her body stiffened. She kept her golden eyes glued to the world outside of the window as his footsteps drew nearer. She hadn't moved from this spot in well over an hour, nor had she made any noise. Why was he up this early?

Xolette watched him carefully sit in the window seat opposite her. He didn't quite fit the way he was once able to, but that was okay. It was a gentle reminder that he hadn't changed all that much on the inside.

"Hayner," she mumbled, wrapping her arms tighter around herself. The sun was just barely touching the horizon now. In a few more minutes, it'd be officially morning.

The visibly older man slowly stretched his leg out and nudged her with his foot. "Wanna hear something funny?"

She shrugged. "I suppose."

He snickered a bit, then turned his head toward her. "We both have white hair now."

Amber eyes darted over to him in a mix of deep irritation and…admittedly amusement. "_Hayner._"

"I'm just trying to make you laugh, hon. You look upset."

Xolette frowned. She really didn't want to talk about it. She just wanted to sit there with him and enjoy his company just like she had for the last few decades. "Yeah. Sure."

Hayner groaned. "Don't get all mean on me. Tell me what's bugging ya."

"It's nothing."

"Nothing doesn't make you act like this. You only sit in this window when something's bothering you."

Xolette sighed deeply. He knew her too well, and she knew him well enough to know that he wasn't going to leave this alone. "I'm thinking about the time we've spent together. It has been amazing…and I don't want it to end."

"Why would it end?"

She really, _really _did not want to say it. The thought alone made her feel horrible. Saying it would make it real; it would jinx something.

"I don't know what you're thinking about right now," Hayner started, "but I won't leave you. I'll always be right here. I wouldn't have married you if I wasn't dedicated to being right by your side for the rest of my life."

"And what happens when it's over?" she said as she finally tore her gaze away from the window. And she regretted it. Hayner looked a little worse than she was used to. The usual wrinkles and sunspots were there, but the bags under his eyes looked much heavier and much darker. His skin was paler, and his smile was thinner. His once sandy blond hair now looked drained of all life. His hands were skinnier, thick blue veins peeking through his skin.

Hayner had aged naturally. Because she was a Nobody, she did not.

There was more to it than just him getting old. It was also the outside world. The rest of the town had aged right along with him. People started having kids, passing away, moving towns and all that jazz. It made things harder. Whenever they went out on the town, people always assumed that Xolette was his granddaughter or great niece. She never dared to correct them because if she corrected one person, she'd have to explain what was going on; if she explained herself to them, she would have to explain to _everyone_. Doing that would only complicate things.

On the other hand, not explaining the situation was bothersome too. She felt as if she had to hide her affection for him in public spaces. It didn't bother her at first, but after a couple of years, it began to annoy her.

"—ette?"

She blinked. "Huh?"

Hayner frowned. "Well don't space out on me!"

"I'm sorry. I just got…lost in my head. Please say it again."

He heaved a sigh of irritation. "I _said _don't worry about things like that. It won't do you any good anyhow. What matters is the present; today; right now. I'm still here, our kids are still here, and we still have each other."

"But—"

"No buts. I know me saying this won't automatically make it all better. I know you'll still be upset because you're you. I just want you to know that the years we've spent together have made me so happy. To this very day, I'm happy. And when I move on to whatever is next, I'll be at peace because I've lived such an amazing life with you."

Surprisingly, his words did lift her spirits a bit. The worry was still there, but the smile on Hayner's face made it easier to deal with.

Xolette leaned her head against the window. "It feels like just yesterday you were throwing yourself into danger for my sake. Now you're being calm and level-headed."

He shrugged with a grin that reminded her of easier times. "That's one of the perks of getting old: you mature a little."

They laughed together as the sun rose. She couldn't help but think about how she'd miss times like this when he was gone. Just sitting there, enjoying his company and laughing just to laugh with him. She really enjoyed it.

And then it hit her: if she continued to think things like that, she would miss the moments she had right in front of her.

Her husband stood slowly and carefully. "Let's go back to bed. We never sleep in anymore."

So she did. Xolette was tired of worrying herself half to death. She just wanted to be with him for the rest of his time in this world.

I really hope I did Xolette justice. I'm kind of worried that I made her overthink too much, but I had so much fun writing this.


End file.
